It's Good To Be A Yankee

A long long time ago, Joe Dimaggio,
And Marilyn Monroe were the talk of the town,
That set a precedent, wherever Yankees went,
Beautiful women were sure to be found,

Now here's the situation in our current generation,
Both Jessica Alba and Biel,
Have dated Derek Jeter, no, it doesn't get much sweeter,
Than playing in the Bronx has got to feel,

If you want to get the ladies, then you'd better be a Yankee,
Cause a Red Sox uniform will never do,
Even when Mr. Steinbrenner gets a little cranky,
You'll always have your girls to get you through,
From Jeter going out with the Maxim hot 100,
To A-Rod and Madonna's hanky panky,
It's obvious to me, there's no more I need to see,
Sign me up cause it's good to be a Yankee,

I hear pinstripes are slimming, and the ladies are all brimming,
With excitement when the Yankees come to town,
It's a part of the tradition, with the players on a mission,
To be seen with all the hottest stars around,

Like Jeter with Mariah, it makes you wonder why a,
Yankee would decide to settle down,
Like Clemens I would seek a new one every week,
And pay them not to ever make a sound,

If you want to get the ladies, then you'd better be a Yankee,
Cause a Red Sox uniform will never do,
Even when Mr. Steinbrenner gets a little cranky,
You'll always have your girls to get you through,
From Jeter going out with the Maxim hot 100,
To A-Rod and Madonna's hanky panky,
It's obvious to me, there's no more I need to see,
Sign me up cause it's good to be a Yankee...

The Yankees Win

Remember the stories of Gehrig and Ruth,
And Yankee tradition you've heard from your youth,
How Babe called his shot in a World Series game,
And Lou gave a speech that brought him acclaim,
Remember Dimaggio's times at the plate,
When he hit for the record in 56 straight,
And look how the legend of Yogi has grown,
Cause those were the days when it was well known,
That the New York Yankees would win,

So now Jeter, Rodriguez, and Coach Joe Girardi,
Can bring back the days of the ticker tape party,
When Maris and Mantle ruled the big city,
And other teams knew the games would not be pretty,
If everyone's healthy and they get some pitching,
They'll conquer the Red Sox and win the division,
With Joba and Hughes and brand new heroes,
They'll bring back the legends that everyone knows,
And the New York Yankees will win,

Remember the homers by Mr. October,
Declaring the series officially over,
Remember reclaiming the title and glory,
With Brosius, O'Neill, with Bernie and Torre,
From Stengel and Larsen to Munson and Martin,
The Yankees of old will not be forgotten,
So play with the pride that these heroes displayed,
And give us all reasons to constantly say,
That the New York Yankees will win ...

Jerry, George, and Kramer Against Woody, Cliff, and Norm

The Yankees got the best of the Babe Ruth trade,
And it lasted for 86 years,
But the Red Sox finally have repaid,
New York for some of those tears,

But the famous curse caused lots of hurt,
Cause all I used to hear,
Was the fans lament Bucky freaking Dent,
As they guzzled their Sam Adams beer,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm,

The Celtics tradition and history,
Is a source of Bostonian pride,
While the Big Apple brings up Bill Buckner,
As a way to hurt Boston inside,

It can make a young man older,
And it can make an old man young,
Like it made a young Pedro lay out old Don Zimmer,
Thinking the old man had swung,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm,

The Patriots road to perfection,
Started by beating the Jets,
While the Manhattan papers referred to,
A camera New York won't forget,

As New England continued their winning,
Beantown became more defiant,
And in a poetic twist that fate couldn't resist,
They ended up playing the Giants,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm ...

Throw In Hank

Dear Minnesota Twins,

I hear you might consider sending Johan to Boston,
Let me ask you to step back and consider what it's costing,
Your team and your town cause all you'll get in return,
Will be headlines that read how the Twins have been burned,

So here's an offer from the Yankees that you really should consider,
Cause you must be holding out waiting for the highest bidder,
If you ever want your team to have a shot to be a winner,
Then please listen to this proposition straight from Steinbrenner,

We'll give you the rights to the mighty Trenton Thunder,
And if that's not enough and you still have to wonder,
Then A-Rod will donate half his salary,
And maybe we can throw in Lady Liberty,
Cause she'd look just as good on the lakes of Minnesota,
As Santana would look with the Yankees in October,
Is it deal or no deal, won't you tell me what you think,
If that's somehow not enough then George will throw in Hank,

Now before you go making any rash decisions,
Take a look at our offer and consider what you're missing,
If you trade Santana for a guy named Coco,
Then your fans will think that you've gone a little loco,

You deserve top dollar for the best in the game,
So don't make some trade that is going to cause you shame,
Just fly over to New York and let's get this deal done,
Because no other owner's going to give up his son,

We'll put your name on the new Yankee park,
We can give you John Sterling and that's just a start,
You can have Reggie Jackson and our tribute to Ruth,
And proudly display it in your town of Duluth,
You can have season tickets to watch Johan play,
Be our guest in Times Square on New Year's Day,
Is it deal or no deal, won't you tell me what you think,
If that's somehow not enough then George will throw in Hank ...

Been Caught Stealing

A-Rod wants more money but does this come as a surprise?
He's got pockets deep as oceans and big dollar signs for eyes,
He claims a measly salary of 25 mil,
Can't protect him from inflation and a weaker dollar bill,

So Scott Boras wants the Yankees to begin a bidding war,
Cause it's not enough to make only 70 times more,
Than the next president be it Hillary or Rudy,
He's going to break the bank because that's an agent's duty,

A-Rod wants more money than a wealthy Kennedy,
Enough to feed Latrell Sprewell's family,
He wants more dollars than the richest Rockefeller,
And checks to cash that will shock the bank teller,
He wants a house bigger than a Vanderbilt,
But I don't understand how he doesn't feel some guilt,
Cause his playoff chokes have been ever so revealing,
When he signs another contract I say he's Been Caught Stealing,

The 50,000 dollars A-Rod gets for one at bat,
Could buy 30 suits of armor for our soldiers in Iraq,
And the half a million bucks that he gets for each home run,
Could pay 10 teachers salaries in full and then some,

Just so the next 50 A-Rod generations aren't hurting,
He wants to outearn the CEO of Halliburton,
It seems a little greedy once you acquire the knowledge,
That his yearly salary could put 600 kids through college,

A-Rod wants more money than a wealthy Kennedy,
Enough to feed Latrell Sprewell's family,
He wants more dollars than the richest Rockefeller,
And checks to cash that will shock the bank teller,
He wants a house bigger than a Vanderbilt,
But I don't understand how he doesn't feel some guilt,
Cause his playoff chokes have been ever so revealing,
When he signs another contract I say,
They must have been watching him play,
Only in April and May,
He's Been Caught Stealing ...