The Jake Long Song

He's not the son of Howie,
He can't go around bragging,
About being on TV,
Like the American Dragon,
But he's stronger than an ox,
And he's bigger than King Kong,
He'll protect John Beck,
Or his name's not Jake Long,

Jake Long, for those of you who let out a cackle,
Jake Long, he's a little known offensive tackle,
Jake Long, Bill Parcells is making you rich,
So Jake Long, don't turn out like Tony Mandarich,

He's durable and sturdy,
He'll probably be All-Madden,
Even though a lot of fans,
Would pick Ryan or McFadden,
He's another Wolverine,
Who only given time,
Will be better than Jon Runyan,
On the offensive line,

Jake Long, for those of you who let out a cackle,
Jake Long, he's a little known offensive tackle,
Jake Long, Bill Parcells is making you rich,
So Jake Long, don't turn out like Tony Mandarich,

His height is 6 foot 7,
His weight is 315,
That's some reasons why Miami,
Is giving him the green,
To keep all the defenders,
Off of Beck and Josh McCown,
And to open up some holes,
For their runner Ronnie Brown,

Jake Long, for those of you who let out a cackle,
Jake Long, he's a little known offensive tackle,
Jake Long, Bill Parcells is making you rich,
So Jake Long, don't turn out like Tony Mandarich ...

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins?

He's a famous football fish captured on Miami's line,
Whose legendary status has grown over time,
Since he won the New York Giants a pair of Super Bowls,
The elusive tag of genius follows everywhere he goes,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins,

We're going to find out if this tuna swims upstream,
Cause that's what it's going to take to resurrect this team,
Their offense is anemic and their D can't stop the run,
And their running back named Ricky really might be done,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins,

He turned around the Patriots and turned around the Jets,
Give him credit for the Cowboys lest we should forget,
When he took the job in Dallas, the franchise was a wreck,
And remember he was teacher to the student Belichick,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins
Miami's counting on the tuna to return to save the fins ...