Dickie V My Talking Chimpanzee

I need some help filling out my bracket,
Cause I don't want to look like I'm a fool,
And I really want to win this gambling racket,
Also known as the friendly office pool,

So I study all the teams and their potential,
And I subscribe to Bracketology,
But my studying is quite inconsequential,
Against the March Madness methodology,

Cause Debbie in Accounting annually approaches,
Picking perfect brackets based on the hotness of the coaches,
And even though my manager says he never cheats,
He goes ahead and turns in twenty freaking sheets,
There's a blind guy named John who's won it several times,
And he doesn't even write the names exactly on the lines,
But I bought a secret weapon and I named him Dickie V,
Not the analyst but rather he's my talking chimpanzee,

And he says ooo ooo see see,
Kansas is the team for me,
Ooo ooo more more,
It's Memphis in the Final Four,
Ooo ooo hey hey,
Don't forget UCLA,
But then he breaks into Copacabana,
And demands another ripened big banana,

Now I don't mean to come off like I'm bitter,
But losing to these losers makes me sick,
And since I've never called myself a quitter,
I figured I should pull out all the tricks,

Cause I've heard a monkey probably picks the winners,
Much better than an educated fan,
So I'm betting that these bad banana dinners,
Will be worth it when I end up as the man,

Cause Lisa from Marketing miraculously seems,
To nail the first round based on colors of the teams,
And every year my manager thinks its awfully funny,
As he's cruising through the cubicles collecting all the money,
There's a deaf guy named Ted who's won it several times,
Even though I think it's fishy cause he does it all with signs,
But I bought a secret weapon and I named him Dickie V,
Not the analyst but rather he's my talking chimpanzee,

And he says ooo ooo see see,
Kansas is the team for me,
Ooo ooo more more,
It's Memphis in the Final Four,
Ooo ooo hey hey,
Don't forget UCLA,
But then he breaks into Copacabana,
And demands another ripened big banana,

If I get him to stop singing Manilow,
And tell me the fourth team who's going to go,
Then the winner of the pool will be me,
Thanks to Dickie V my talking chimpanzee...

Bubble Teams

It's the difference between living a dream,
And a heartbreak for all of the bubbly teams,
Who are watching and waiting and wanting a chance,
For their team to be playing in front of Jim Nantz,

With Digger and Dickie attending the games,
And most all of America knowing their names,
They can be Cinderella if they get the call,
From their Fairy Godmother to go to play ball,

They remember teams like Villanova,
And how that Jimmy V ran around when his game was done,
And they think doesn't that look fun,

They've got a whole lot of reasons,
That they should get in it after this season,
Look at the way they're playing,
And don't give heed to anyone saying no,

It's all in strength of schedule,
And an RPI that isn't so terrible,
Check out the list of their quality wins,
Then see if you think that they should not get in,

It's the difference between living a dream,
And a heartbreak for all of the bubbly teams,
Who are watching and waiting and wanting a chance,
For their team to be going to the dance,

And not the NIT, no NIT for me,
Not the NIT, no NIT for me please,

Maryland has beaten UNC,
While Kentucky has toppled Tennessee,
Syracuse has a Georgetown win,
Will their bubble be dropping and popping again,

When you lose to Ohio or Gardner Webb,
Your bubble might just pop pop,
Or lose to South Florida instead,
Your bubble just might pop pop,

Now these are a few of the bubbly teams,
Who are waiting to see if a season of dreams,
Ends with a loss or a victory,
Or a meaningless game in the NIT,

Not the NIT, no NIT for me,
Not the NIT, no NIT for me please,

On Selection Sunday listen,
Just to find out if they're missing,
Wait and see,
On Selection Sunday listen,
Just to find out if they're missing,
Wait and see, wait and see,

It's the difference between living a dream,
And a heartbreak for all of the bubbly teams,
Who are watching and waiting and wanting a chance,
For their team to be going to the dance,

And not the NIT, no NIT for me,
Not the NIT, no NIT for me please ...