If The Brewers Could Sign John Daly

If the Yankees can sign Billy Crystal,
As a famous celebrity player,
Then the rest of the teams should just spice up the Spring,
With some contracts providing some flair,

Ben Affleck should play ball for the Red Sox,
And Chuck Norris should hit for the Rangers,
And the Cubs should have fun by inviting Bartman,
Just to see him avoiding the dangers,

But the most natural signing of all,
Is a guy who can drive and destroy the ball,
A player whose heroes are Ruth and Jon Kruk,
Who lives on the edge and who don't give a hoot,
About how he might look in a new uniform,
If his hands aren't cold and his beer isn't warm,
It would play like an act out of Barnum and Bailey,
If the Brewers could sign John Daly,

Nacho Libre could play for the Padres,
So the fans wouldn't find themselves bored,
And the Marlins could get 50 cent to pinch hit,
Cause that's all that their team can afford,

Jerry Seinfeld could sign with the Mets,
Starting them off with some wins,
Minnesota should try to keep all their guys,
By signing the Coors Light twins,

But the most natural signing of all,
Is a guy who can drive and destroy the ball,
A player whose heroes are Ruth and Jon Kruk,
Who lives on the edge and who don't give a hoot,
About how he might look in a new uniform,
If his hands aren't cold and his beer isn't warm,
It would play like an act out of Barnum and Bailey,
If the Brewers could sign John Daly...