Where Have All The White Boys Gone?

The Celtics and the Lakers are playing once again,
But Boston's kind of different cause I remember when,
They used to have a roster of players that were slow,
And dudes that couldn't jump, now I just want to know,
Who's this bunch of players wearing Celtic green?

Where is that Larry Bird?
Where is Kevin McHale?
Has anybody heard?
Where have all the white boys gone?

Wedman, Kite, and Sichting, on down to Danny Ainge,
Who would've thought in 20 years so much was going to change,
From fundamental layups to slamming jamming dunks,
From close hugging tight shorts to loose fitting trunks,
Who's this bunch of players wearing Celtic green?

Where is that Larry Bird?
Where is Kevin McHale?
Has anybody heard?
Where have all the white boys gone?

The Lakers have some white boys, I can't pronounce their names,
So maybe Boston's white boys are playing other games,
I've looked around the city to find out what they're doing,
And I think I've figured out, they're all playing for the Bruins,
Who's this bunch of players wearing Celtic green?

Where is that Larry Bird?
Where is Kevin McHale?
Has anybody heard?
Where have all the white boys gone? ...

Where Memories Can Happen

It was Stevie Wonder on the radio and Indiana Jones on at the movie show,
And "Where's the Beef" was the question of the year,
When the Celtics Lakers rivalry was renewed on CBS TV,
As the Boston fans said "Beat LA" right here,

The series altered in game 4 when McHale took Rambis to the floor,
Dunks and layups never came with ease,
The Forum crowd was looking fine and loving watching their Showtime,
While the Garden boiled at 98 degrees,

I remember watching Magic Johnson, Worthy, and Kareem,
Playing Larry Bird, the Chief, and McHale, man, what a team,
From coast to coast you heard the country standing up and clapping,
It was the old days in the NBA where memories can happen,

Wrestlemania had Mr. T while Aha was singing "Take On Me",
As the movies showed Biff picking on McFly,
With Boston trying to repeat and the Lakers wanting to defeat,
The Celtics in the finals the first time,

Boston got out of the gate and it looked like things were going great,
In a game one massacre by 34,
But Kareem Abdul Jabbar took charge, like an MVP he came up large,
As the Lakers won and evened up the score,

I remember watching Magic Johnson, Worthy, and Kareem,
Playing Larry Bird, the Chief, and McHale, man, what a team,
From coast to coast you heard the country standing up and clapping,
It was the old days in the NBA where memories can happen,

We watched Good Morning Vietnam while "Rick Roll" Astley was the bomb,
As we learned about a girl named Donna Rice,
When the Celtics and the Lakers met in a rubber match we won't forget,
To see which team would end up winning twice,

The champions would gain renown from Hollywood on to Beantown,
As the greatest of the 80's in the book,
That history was sure to write about Bird and Magic's final fight,
With a chapter about Magic's junior hook,

Now Kobe and Gasol can take on Pierce and KG,
In another Lakers Celtics series that I want to see,
From coast to coast you'll hear the country standing up and clapping,
Just like old days in the NBA where memories can happen,
They'll try to win Phil number 10 where memories can happen ...

Jerry, George, and Kramer Against Woody, Cliff, and Norm

The Yankees got the best of the Babe Ruth trade,
And it lasted for 86 years,
But the Red Sox finally have repaid,
New York for some of those tears,

But the famous curse caused lots of hurt,
Cause all I used to hear,
Was the fans lament Bucky freaking Dent,
As they guzzled their Sam Adams beer,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm,

The Celtics tradition and history,
Is a source of Bostonian pride,
While the Big Apple brings up Bill Buckner,
As a way to hurt Boston inside,

It can make a young man older,
And it can make an old man young,
Like it made a young Pedro lay out old Don Zimmer,
Thinking the old man had swung,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm,

The Patriots road to perfection,
Started by beating the Jets,
While the Manhattan papers referred to,
A camera New York won't forget,

As New England continued their winning,
Beantown became more defiant,
And in a poetic twist that fate couldn't resist,
They ended up playing the Giants,

It's a rivalry that runs deeper than a simple sports debate,
It's only a distance of 200 miles that seperates the hate,
It's several generations that kept it true to form,
It pits Jerry, George, and Kramer against Woody, Cliff, and Norm ...