Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins?

He's a famous football fish captured on Miami's line,
Whose legendary status has grown over time,
Since he won the New York Giants a pair of Super Bowls,
The elusive tag of genius follows everywhere he goes,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins,

We're going to find out if this tuna swims upstream,
Cause that's what it's going to take to resurrect this team,
Their offense is anemic and their D can't stop the run,
And their running back named Ricky really might be done,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins,

He turned around the Patriots and turned around the Jets,
Give him credit for the Cowboys lest we should forget,
When he took the job in Dallas, the franchise was a wreck,
And remember he was teacher to the student Belichick,

Can the Tuna Save the Dolphins from the bottom of the sea,
They've been having trouble swimming and the NFL agrees,
That their quarterback's a Lemon and they're running short on wins,
So they're counting on the tuna to return to save the fins
Miami's counting on the tuna to return to save the fins ...

Why The Cowboys Stink

Sometime in 2003, I had a good job on TV,
Analyzing Why the Cowboys Stink,
Then I woke up groggy on a plane, thinking I had gone insane,
Wondering what the heck was in my drink,
I was staring at a bag of bones who said his name was Jerry Jones,
But I swear it didn't look like him at all,
He said I'm glad we've got a pact, then I saw my name on a contract,
That said welcome back to coaching football,

So I scanned the roster up and down and wondered why I'd come to town,
Cause it was clear just Why the Cowboys Stink,
I called the owner on the phone, he could sense the anger in my tone,
When I said I fear this ship is going to sink,
I still recall his nervous laugh as we sat together at the draft,
And watched as Carson Palmer was picked,
He told me we've got all we need with Quincy Carter at QB,
That's when I realized that I'd been tricked,

Now games and seasons turn to years like Gatorade has turned to beers,
As I ponder reasons Why the Cowboys Stink,
All the press just wants to know what's the latest with TO,
It's enough to drive a coach to drink,
I put my trust in Drew Bledsoe but I got tired of watching throws,
Go to players on the other team,
Sometimes I wake and say Oh No, I dreamed my QB was Romo,
Then I realize that that's reality,

Now Emmitt Smith's a dancing star while Aikman looks on from afar,
Analyzing Why the Cowboys Stink,
I wish I could go back in time when Dallas had a good O-line,
Our record would be better don't you think,
So when you look at my career, don't remember my time here,
Think of New York Giant Super Bowls,
And if that memory doesn't fly, just remember I'm the guy,
Who taught Belichick everything he knows ...