July 30, 2011
Retired in California
On the AA highway, orange paint in my hair,
Warm smell of the tailgates rising up through the air,
But up ahead in the distance, I saw a frightening sight,
A maniacal smiling Mike Brown gripping his wallet so tight,
There he stood in his office saying all will be well,
And I was thinking to myself, 'Loving your Bengals is certainly hell',
Then he passed on free agents as he showed me the way,
But I heard voices from the Bengals past, I thought I heard them say,
Carson's now retired in California,
He was Bengalized, it comes as no surprise,
Carson is done and retired in California,
Promising careers, they're all ended here,
Mike is financially-twisted, he's got a Mercedes Benz,
And a county full of taxpaying fools that he calls friends,
Mikey goes down to Georgetown for some sweet summer sweat,
To make heartbreaks to remember and seasons to forget,
So I called up Dave Lapham and said, 'Is there a positive sign?',
He said, 'we haven't had that spirit here since nineteen eighty nine',
Those Bengal voices are calling from far away,
So many years gone by, thought I heard them say,
Carson's now retired in California,
He was Bengalized, it comes as no surprise,
Carson is done and retired in California,
Promising careers, they're all ended here,
Retreads on the roster who've been cut once or twice,
Then Mike says 'we've even got some prisoners here just to show I am nice',
And in the family's chambers where life isn't so tough,
They count our money with their greedy hands, But they just can't get enough,
Last thing I remember, it all seemed like a dream,
I tried to do it but I couldn't stand to pull for another team,
'Relax,' said the Mike man, we are programmed to deceive,
You can retire any time you like, but you can never leave...
topics:
cincinnati bengals
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This one WILL go viral in Cincinnati!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAt last you made another video, 6 months was a long wait. Awesome as always.
ReplyDeleteHomerun. Excellent work again, Mr. Parker.
ReplyDeletethanks Ryan, love your stuff
ReplyDeletehow about a positive one to kick start the season with all of our "Young Guns"
You are the voice of a generation of Cincinnati sports fans my friend.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! - Doug the former Bengals fan.
ReplyDeleteNot a Bengal fan, nor do I have anything against them, but this really makes me feel for their fans as a member of another passionate fan base. Great song as always and keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteFantastic video and song man. It hurts because I'm a fan, but I feel bad for anyone that has to watch this fool run a professional sports organization.
ReplyDeleteWhy me, Lord? Why me.
ReplyDeleteAnother fantastic song Ryan! It's hitting the nail right on the head - wish it wouldn't be so true.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you couldn't root for any other team though!
My eleven year old went to Halloween Last night as Bungalized Carson Palmer! We loved the video. You might have to add a verse saying he's been Raiderized, at least that is what my eleven year old said.
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