Dr. Dunkenstein Isn't Walking Through That Door

They're the Stephen to our Alec,
The Casey to our Ben,
The Jeb to our George,
The boys to our men,
They're high on expectations,
And low on quality,
Let's take a moment for,
The late Teddy Kennedy,

We wouldn't want another to live within our state,
When it comes to little brothers the Cardinals are great,
They've got a new arena with a shiny floor,
But Dr. Dunkenstein isn't walking through that door,

Poor Rick Pitino,
Must be feeling blue,
Wearing red and white,
If he only knew,
13 years ago,
When he left UK,
How his life would go,
I think he might have stayed,

We wouldn't want another to live within our state,
When it comes to little brothers the Cardinals are great,
They've got a new arena with a shiny floor,
But Dr. Dunkenstein isn't walking through that door,

Historic Rupp Arena,
Or Colonel Sanders Yum,
First lady Ashley Judd,
Or Sypher's one and done,
The Puerto Rican coach,
Or Kentucky's Calipari,
When big brother speaks,
To Louisville it's scary,

We wouldn't want another to live within our state,
When it comes to little brothers the Cardinals are great,
They've got a new arena with a shiny floor,
But Dr. Dunkenstein isn't walking through that door,
When it comes to talent Pitino needs some more,
But Dr. Dunkenstein isn't walking through that door,
Dr. Dunkenstein isn't walking through that door

What's The Matter With The New York Giants?

What's the matter with the New York Giants?
Can't they tell that they're on a line,
To finish wrapping up the current season,
Like they did in 2009,
Bradshaw's laying down a whole lot of fumbles,
Made much worse cause the secondary stumbles,
Everybody's talking about Brees and the Saints,
But there's still one more game to see,

What's the matter with Eli Manning?
Can't he see that the other teams,
Aren't wearing big blue uniforms,
He's a Saint and a Packer's dream,
Cause he's been throwing up some bad interceptions,
Eli needs a rather quick resurrection,
Everybody's talking about the Eagles and Vick,
But there's still one more game to see,

What's the matter with coach Tom Coughlin?
He is underneath a harsh barrage,
Of criticism as the ex-coach Cowher,
Might just run him right out of dodge,
The running game's looking sort of nonexistent,
The defense isn't quite touchdown resistant,
Everybody's talking about Rodgers and the Pack,
But there's still one more game to see,

The Giants are pulling for Cutler and the Bears,
Cause there's still one more game to see

The Jerome Simpson Song

There once was a man named Jerome,
On the verge of being sent home,
Ever since his draft day,
I said he can't play,
Cause he had the inactive syndrome,

Until one day they injured Ocho,
So Jerome got to go to the show,
As a Bengal first stringer,
Then he had a humdinger,
Of a game so now I'll eat crow,

He's more like O.J. without the knife,
Than Homer or Bart, I was wrong,
I honestly never thought in my life,
I'd be singing the Jerome Simpson song,
But I'm singing the Jerome Simpson song

Kobe The Mamba Bryant

You know Magic, Kareem,
Elgin Baylor and Jerry,
Worthy, Wilt Chamberlain,
And Shaq were all very good,
But do you recall,
The greatest Laker of all?

Kobe the Mamba Bryant,
Had a hall of fame career,
He played the game defiant,
As someone everybody feared,

All of the other Lakers,
Used to say it might be Shaq,
But then Kobe led the Lakers,
To win another back-to-back,

Then one L.A. Christmas Day,
Phil Jackson came to say,
Kobe now it's time to beat,
The Christmas Grinch known as the Heat,

Then all the Lakers loved him,
Ron-Ron shouted out with glee,
Kobe the Mamba Bryant,
You'll go down in history

Love The Way You Lie Mike Brown

Just gonna stand there and watch us burn,
But that's alright because we like the way it hurts,
Just gonna stand there and hear us cry,
But that's alright because we love the way you lie,
We love the way you lie,

I can't tell you how it really is,
I can only tell you how it feels,
To be a Bengal fan, it's not that funny,
While you, Mike Brown, just count your money,

As you put a product on the field,
Every single season, our fate is sealed,
Players scouted by your family,
We all wonder why you cannot see,

That our team's in need of a GM,
We're sick and tired trying to pretend,
That our Bengals really have a shot,
When embarrassment is all we've got,

To show for all our loyalty,
This is like the days at Cinergy,
With the way that Carson Palmer plays,
He looks more like Klingler every day,

Just gonna stand there and watch us lose,
But that's alright because we've taken your abuse,
Just gonna stand there and hear us cry,
But that's alright because we love the way you lie,
We love the way you lie,

We believed so much in Marvin Lewis,
But now that teams are cutting through us,
Like hot knives through butter we're surprised,
Marvin's been completely Bengalized,

Any other team would have fired these coaches,
But we know that's not what your approach is,
Bratkowski lives to coach again,
When it's obvious he'll never win,

A playoff game or Super Bowl,
But we all know that's not your goal,
It's our financial contribution,
We need a Who Dey Revolution,

With Cowher or Gruden in control,
Both coaches who've won Super Bowls,
They could turn this place into a Jungle,
But all we'll get is the same old Bungles,

Just gonna stand there and watch us burn,
But that's alright because we like the way it hurts,
Just gonna stand there and hear us cry,
But that's alright because we love the way you lie,

Just gonna stand there and watch us lose,
But that's alright because we've taken your abuse,
Just gonna stand there and hear us cry,
But that's alright because we love the way you lie,
We love the way you lie