T Woody

First I'd like to say that the golf course was in tremendous condition. The fairways were perfect. The rough was challenging and the greens were fast. I'd also like to congratulate my opponents on a very well played tournament. Phil Mickelson was right there nipping at my tail the entire way, and even though it appeared to be an insurmountable 12 stroke lead with 18 to play, Phil just never lets you feel too comfortable out there. My heart goes out to Sergio Garcia, because I've been in that water on 16 before. Well, it was back when I was a junior golfer and maybe only 7 years old, but I'm definitely happy to get the win here today. I realize I didn't bring my A game and I still have a lot of holes in my game I need to fix, some flaws in my swing I need to correct. If I'm ever going to deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the true greats of the game like Jack Nicklaus, Ben Hogan, and Arnold Palmer, then I really have some improvements I need to make. And to be completely honest with you...

I'm really sick and tired of this politically correct B.S. I have to spew out for you guys every press conference. Let me tell you how it really is.

It's Tiger time!

You can bet that Buick don't want you to know,
The real life Tiger and the way I roll,
You can see my game from the tee to the green,
But you don't know that I'm a party machine,
In the clubhouse down on the 19th hole,
They say Eldrick Woods is ready to go,
With the hottest wife out on the tour,
And the longest driver, that's for sure,
Man boobs Mickelson has no shot,
When he sees the driver this Tiger's got,
On the course in the day I tear him apart,
Then at night I get a shotgun start,
Or a foursome ready and waiting for me,
Yeah it feels so good standing on this tee,
Like a Tiger swinging and raring to pounce,
So I think it's time for me to announce,

You might think that I'm a golf course goody,
But I'm a golfing gangster called T Woody,
You might think that I'm a golf course goody,
But I'm a golfing gangster called T Woody,

I've got trophies, cups, green jackets galore,
Don't count them yet cause I'm winning more,
I'm the perfect player in the perfect life,
With my muscles, money, and my Swedish wife,
I've been swinging the club ever since my birth,
Now look at my sponsors to see what I'm worth,
Day or night, T Woody wins,
If we're shooting for strokes or playing for skins,
I celebrate, I like to gloat,
Like I'm on some Vikings party boat,
I turn tight lies into holes in one,
Like a magical maestro having some fun,
I chip like a butterfly, sting like a bee,
I'm the greatest thing since Muhammad Ali,
I've left the rest of the players behind,
And they all know it's Tiger time,

You might think that I'm a golf course goody,
But I'm a golfing gangster called T Woody,
You might think that I'm a golf course goody,
But I'm a golfing gangster called T Woody,

It's Tiger time. Yeah.
That's how I roll...