Black Guys Don't Play Hockey

Black guys don't play hockey, I know this much is true,
And white guys who play basketball are far between and few,
That is unless they're foreign or if they work real hard,
They might have a chance to be a cerebral shooting guard,

White guys can't jump or move with any quickness,
Their lack of any skills is a real genetic sickness,
White guys can't box unless their name is Rocky,
Black guys are athletic so why don't they play hockey?

White guys can play football on the offensive line,
Or they can be the quarterback, they do it all the time,
They just can't play positions where they have to run,
All the black receivers seem to have all the fun,

White guys can't jump or move with any quickness,
Their lack of any skills is a real genetic sickness,
White guys can't box unless their name is Rocky,
Black guys are athletic so why don't they play hockey?

Dominicans play baseball and lie about their age,
Russian girls play tennis, over there it's all the rage,
Asians play ping pong, they're really really good,
Black guys don't play golf unless their name is Tiger Woods,

White guys can't jump or move with any quickness,
Their lack of any skills is a real genetic sickness,
White guys can't box unless their name is Rocky,
Black guys are athletic so why don't they play hockey?

A black guy in the White House named Obama brought a change,
But here's something that I thought of that might seem kind of strange,
An All-White NBA or an All-Black NHL,
Something tells me neither of these leagues would ever sell,

White guys can't jump or move with any quickness,
Their lack of any skills is a real genetic sickness,
White guys can't box unless their name is Rocky,
Black guys are athletic so why don't they play hockey?

Black guys don't swim and don't aspire to be a jockey,
But black guys are athletic so why don't they play hockey?

If It's Brown, Flush It Down

I love to think about their storied history,
And how they've been forever bad,
It's funny how the very same memories,
Make me happy while they always make them sad,

Like the drive by the Broncos and the fumble by the Browns,
Is it really any wonder why they're called the Cleveland Clowns?

If it's brown, flush it down along with all of Cleveland town,
The mistake by the lake shouldn't even be around,
There has got to be a reason why the greatest coach alive,
Had just one winning season after coaching there for five,
If it's brown, Cleveland Brown, flush it down,

It's funny how they had to move to Baltimore,
To win a single Super Bowl,
That's a game that Cleveland's never seen before,
What could possibly console,

A poor fan in the pound dressed up like a freaking mutt,
They're a team that's so down, even Bernie went bankrupt,

If it's brown, flush it down along with all of Cleveland town,
The mistake by the lake shouldn't even be around,
There has got to be a reason why the greatest coach alive,
Had just one winning season after coaching there for five,
If it's brown, Cleveland Brown, flush it down...