Eli, Put On Your Superman Cape

The Patriots remind me of my favorite cartoon,
That I used to watch when I was young,
There was a group of villains called the Legion of Doom,
When I saw them in New England I was stunned,

Bill Belichick's Lex Luthor with his evil genius plan,
Tom Brady is Bizarro, he's the coach's right hand man,
Who's protected by Gorillas trying to keep him from a loss,
While he fires another laser to the Riddler Randy Moss,

Eli put on your Superman cape,
Fly out to Arizona on a plane,
Don't let New England's bad guys escape,
The desert with a title and another claim to fame,
Avoid Lex Luthor's camera kryptonite,
Turn the aging lion Seau to a kitty,
Take your Giant men of steel out into the fight,
And show the men of stealing signals that the trophy belongs in Gotham City,

Tell Osi Umenyiora to start up the BatMobile,
Tell Strahan that it's time to get in,
Meet the team in Arizona in the Patriots backfield,
Show the world that the good guys still can win,

Eli's life won't be the same when the Giants win this game,
He might even tell Tom Brady that Gisele's his Lois Lane,
Now the world is going to say that his chance is less than zero,
But when New York wins the Super Bowl, he'll be a cartoon hero,

Eli put on your Superman cape,
Fly out to Arizona on a plane,
Don't let New England's bad guys escape,
The desert with a title and another claim to fame,
Avoid Lex Luthor's camera kryptonite,
Turn the aging lion Seau to a kitty,
Take your Giant men of steel out into the fight,
And show the men of stealing signals that the trophy belongs in Gotham City,
Yes, justice will be done cause the trophy's coming home to Gotham City ...

Cry Me A River T.O.

Cry me a river, there's no need to pretend, T.O.,
Cry me a river as you try to defend Romo,
Don't pay attention to your critics cause it's how you feel,
Let your tears flow down, let them flow just like Dick Vermeil,

You tried to play the tough guy in Philly,
But now your tears are rolling and you're looking plain silly,
Remember when you said Garcia was gay,
Now isn't it ironic that you're acting this way,

Cry me a river even though you're under an attack,
For showing your emotion cause you love your quarterback,
You've always been known as a teammate that would not stab,
Another player in the back, well, except for Donovan McNabb,

You tried to play the tough guy in Philly,
But now your tears are rolling and you're looking plain silly,
Remember when you said Garcia was gay,
Now isn't it ironic that you're acting this way,

Your behavior's a little bit strange,
It's hard to believe that you've completely changed,
From the egomaniacal star named T.O.,
Into a tender hearted guy we all want to know,

Cry me a river, there's no need to pretend, T.O.,
Cry me a river as you try to defend Romo,
Don't pay attention to your critics cause it's how you feel,
Let your tears flow down, let them flow just like Dick Vermeil ...

Don't Worry Be Happy Tony

Tony Romo, you've had some trouble,
The New York Giants just made it double,
Don't worry, be happy,

Take Jessica back to Mexico,
And make her hit her highest note,
Don't worry, be happy,

If sister Ashlee wants to go,
Call up your wingman big T.O.,
The trip will go without a hitch,
As long as he don't want to switch,

Romo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo,
Tony Romo-mo-mo-mo, There's always next year,

Last year it was a bobbled snap,
And this year you'll still take the rap,
Don't worry, be happy,

Forget about Eli Manning,
When you and Jessica are tanning,
Don't worry, be happy,

Even though it didn't go your way,
It could be worse, you could be Nick Lachey,
Watching your ex-wife hit the sack,
With the Cowboys quarterback,

Romo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo,
Tony Romo-mo-mo-mo, There's always next year,

Jerry Jones doesn't find it funny,
Cause he is paying you a load of money,
But even if he set you free,
Your signing bonus is guaranteed,
So don't worry, just be happy,

Romo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo,
Tony Romo-mo-mo-mo, There's always next year ...

Who You Believe

America loves stories about who you believe,
There's nothing we hate more than to think we've been deceived,
By some strangers on TV that we'll never really know,
But we still want the truth exposed so we can say I told you so,

Did you fall on the side of the Goldmans or the Juice,
Did you think Clemens lied when he said he never used,
Do you feel Barry Bonds cheated history,
I guess it all comes down to who you believe,
Would you say Bill Clinton wasn't truthful with the nation,
It depends on what you call a sexual relation,
Do you feel a little sorry for the jilted Hillary,
I guess it all comes down to who you believe,
Who do you believe? Who you believe?

There's no celebrity we hold closer to the fire,
Than the one that we've decided is a cold conniving liar,
The media that made them stars is just what they resent,
When they find out that they're guilty before proven innocent,

Did you think Pete Rose really wagered on the game,
And was Desiree lying and Mike Tyson really framed,
Did you cheer in Colorado when they set Kobe free,
I guess it all comes down to who you believe,
Would you say Michael Jackson was rightfully acquitted,
If his glove didn't fit then I'm sure he never did it,
Oh wait, that's OJ, that's ancient history,
I guess it all comes down to who you believe,
Until Geraldo finds the truth for all the world to see,
I guess it all comes down to who you believe,
Who can you believe anymore?
Is it the celebrities you adore?

Del Rio

Everybody knows about Dungy and the Colts,
You've probably even heard of Norv Turner's Lightning Bolts,
If you're not in the grave and don't live in a cave,
You know who's supposed to win,
Belichick's the favorite,
But here's who I'm trusting in,

His name's Del Rio and his team is on a roll,
He's going to lead the Jaguars to the Super Bowl,
So I'm predicting that the world is going to know,
That Jack Del Rio's coaching in the Super Bowl,

I've seen him on the field and on CBS TV,
Now he'll become a star and go make history,
Like Lombardi, yeah I know he will,
Bring back that trophy to display in Jacksonville,

Hey now, whoo, look at that, Tom Brady says no way,
He says it's all false cause now he's got Moss,
But it's time for a loss, a loss, a loss, a loss,

I'll take my chance cause luck is on Jack's
side or something, I know what you're thinking,
You're thinking I'm crazy and that I've been drinking,
But I want the Patriots ship to be sinking now,

His name's Del Rio and his team is on a roll,
He's going to lead the Jaguars to the Super Bowl,
So I'm predicting that the world is going to know,
That Jack Del Rio's coaching in the Super Bowl ...

The Isiah Thomas 25 Year Rebuilding Plan

I used to think Isiah was just lazy,
Or just a guy who's had some rotten luck,
But now it's clear he's clinically crazy,
So I can say it's obvious he sucks,

Cause he says the Knicks are going to win a title,
And he's going to leave a lasting legacy,
But he's missing some components that are vital,
Like players who will play for more than me,

Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That's causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they're always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn't funny,
While they're watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan,

Isiah says he wants to leave a blueprint,
To show teams in the future how to play,
But one day our kids will ask us where the Knicks went,
And we'll say Isiah took the team away,

Now I won't question who is on the court or starting,
Cause I'm quite sure I've already said enough,
To merit an ejection from the Garden,
Where free speech is all that's getting stuffed,

Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That's causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they're always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn't funny,
While they're watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan ...