My Diaper Dandy

He's got big feet, he's got soft hands,
And it looks like he responds to my commands,
He's been around for just 2 days,
But it looks like he's intelligent and nimble for his age,
Let's try to get his DNA,
So we can tell for sure if he can play,
And get the newborn registry,
To see if some other coach has already bought the Wii,

You see, I'm known as the world's best collegiate recruiter,
With Facebook and MySpace on laptop computers,
I text, instant message, and talk on my cell,
And I know all the lingo that's hip, LOL,
But I need a leg up cause it's stiff competition,
So I'm here in maternity out on a mission,
With onesies and passies and boatloads of candy,
In hopes that I'll find My Diaper Dandy,

Why should I wait for AAU,
When it's clear just what this infant child might do,
Our fans will love what I have found,
I've been watching him ever since his 2nd ultrasound,
Now I don't want his Mom's reproach,
So i hope he's saying Mommy long before he's saying Coach,
But let's move on, we're wasting time,
Someone get this boy a crayon and an offer sheet to sign,

You see, I'm known as the world's best collegiate recruiter,
With Facebook and MySpace on laptop computers,
I text, instant message, and talk on my cell,
And I know all the lingo that's hip, LOL,
But I need a leg up cause it's stiff competition,
So I'm here in maternity out on a mission,
With onesies and passies and boatloads of candy,
In hopes that I'll find My Diaper Dandy,
Someone name him right now be it Jimmy or Randy,
Cause i've got to sign My Diaper Dandy ...