The Dot Com Toilet Bowl

Send me off to San Diego cause it's where I want to go,
To watch the County Credit Union Poinsietta Bowl,
Book my trip to Las Vegas cause it wouldn't be the same,
If I ever had to miss the Pioneer game,

Someday we'll finally get a playoff,
Instead of a dumb computer poll,
Until these bowl games mean something,
They might as well be playing in The Dot Com Toilet Bowl,

The only thing more exciting than a matchup on TV,
Between East Carolina and Middle Tennessee,
Is the nearly famous Roady's Bowl in Boise, Idaho,
At a mostly empty stadium played in a foot of snow,

Someday we'll finally get a playoff,
Instead of a dumb computer poll,
Until these bowl games mean something,
They might as well be playing in The Dot Com Toilet Bowl,

Even though I love football, this fact I cannot hide,
I find it hard on holidays to decide,
Between watching the Bell Helicopter Bowl on TV,
Or a Rocky rerun marathon again on TNT,

Someday we'll finally get a playoff,
Instead of a dumb computer poll,
Until these bowl games mean something,
They might as well be playing in The Dot Com Toilet Bowl,
We know the BCS is BS,
So they might as well be playing in The Dot Com Toilet Bowl ...

A Good Red

I remember the nights back when I was younger,
Spent listening to the radio,
My Mom and my Dad thought I was just sleeping,
Cause I kept the volume down low,
No matter if we played the Astros or Dodgers,
The pictures inside of my head,
Were painted by Marty and Joe, they're the reason,
That I fell in love with the Reds,

When I heard the old lefthander rounded the bases,
And finally went all the way home,
I wanted to cry but I just had to smile,
And wonder if he could have known,
How much he meant to so many who loved him,
And how we will never forget,
That we lost a good friend when we lost Joe Nuxhall,
But Heaven has gained a good Red,

I recall the excitement that I used to feel,
When Joe got to call a home run,
He'd tell the ball to get up and get out,
Making the game so much fun,
And I know that I'll miss him this upcoming season,
And think that he's still in the booth,
During the pauses in between pitches,
Bringing me back to my youth,

When I heard the old lefthander rounded the bases,
And finally went all the way home,
I wanted to cry but I just had to smile,
And wonder if he could have known,
How much he meant to so many who loved him,
And how we will never forget,
That we lost a good friend when we lost Joe Nuxhall,
But Heaven has gained a good Red ...

These Are The Days

When the town shuts down and the only sound on an Autumn Friday night,
Is what people say about the game you'll play underneath the stadium lights,
When the band strikes up and the crowd erupts as you're running on that field,
You're prepared to fight for your team tonight 'til the victory is sealed,
I hope you know that,

These are the days when you're making history,
They go by fast but the memories last of another victory,
These are the days that you'll remember when,
You're reminiscing years from now about a Russell win,
I hope you know that these are the days,

From the oldest man who just likes to stand with his headset radio,
To the youngest girl lost in her own world doing cheers on the front row,
To a group of boys making lots of noise and a sideline sandlot game,
They depend on you knowing you'll come through to make them feel the same,
I hope you know that,

These are the days when you're making history,
They go by fast but the memories last of another victory,
These are the days that you'll remember when,
You're reminiscing years from now about a Russell win,
I hope you know that these are the days,

Those painful practices out in the summer heat,
Pay off in the playoffs when the Devils can't be beat ...

Thank Goodness For The Bruins

[C] Since the [Am] Red Sox broke the [Em] curse back [F] in 2004 [C],
It's [Am] hard to watch them [Em] win but it's [F] hard to just ignore [C],
That [Am] they're the greatest [Em] team [F] much to my chagrin [C],
And [F] odds are in 2008 they'll [G] probably win again,

Chorus

So thank [F] goodness for the [C] Bruins or I [G] couldn't watch the [C] news,
Cause I'd [F] hardly get to [C] see a team from [G] Boston ever [C] lose,
The [F] first thing that I [C] check is to [G] see how they are [Am] doing,
Even [F] though I don't watch hockey, Thank [G] Goodness for the [C] Bruins,

Since the [Am] Patriots won the [Em] tuck rule game [F] in 2002 [C],
That [Am] started up their [Em] dynasty that [F] no one can refute [C],
To [Am] top it off they [Em] somehow worked a [F] trade for Randy [C] Moss,
Now it's [F] doubtful that they're ever going to [G] have another loss,

Repeat Chorus

Since the [Am] Celtics got [Em] Garnett [F] earlier this [C] year,
[Am] Combined him with Ray [Em] Allen and "The [F] Truth" Paul [C] Pierce,
I [Am] fear that they are [Em] good and that [F] Danny Ainge is [C] starting,
To [F] return them to the glory they once [G] had in the Garden,

Repeat Chorus

Been Caught Stealing

A-Rod wants more money but does this come as a surprise?
He's got pockets deep as oceans and big dollar signs for eyes,
He claims a measly salary of 25 mil,
Can't protect him from inflation and a weaker dollar bill,

So Scott Boras wants the Yankees to begin a bidding war,
Cause it's not enough to make only 70 times more,
Than the next president be it Hillary or Rudy,
He's going to break the bank because that's an agent's duty,

A-Rod wants more money than a wealthy Kennedy,
Enough to feed Latrell Sprewell's family,
He wants more dollars than the richest Rockefeller,
And checks to cash that will shock the bank teller,
He wants a house bigger than a Vanderbilt,
But I don't understand how he doesn't feel some guilt,
Cause his playoff chokes have been ever so revealing,
When he signs another contract I say he's Been Caught Stealing,

The 50,000 dollars A-Rod gets for one at bat,
Could buy 30 suits of armor for our soldiers in Iraq,
And the half a million bucks that he gets for each home run,
Could pay 10 teachers salaries in full and then some,

Just so the next 50 A-Rod generations aren't hurting,
He wants to outearn the CEO of Halliburton,
It seems a little greedy once you acquire the knowledge,
That his yearly salary could put 600 kids through college,

A-Rod wants more money than a wealthy Kennedy,
Enough to feed Latrell Sprewell's family,
He wants more dollars than the richest Rockefeller,
And checks to cash that will shock the bank teller,
He wants a house bigger than a Vanderbilt,
But I don't understand how he doesn't feel some guilt,
Cause his playoff chokes have been ever so revealing,
When he signs another contract I say,
They must have been watching him play,
Only in April and May,
He's Been Caught Stealing ...