How Many Ways Can You Lose A Game?

We started out 3 and 0, I expected us to surely go,
To the Super Bowl, I told my friends, Miami's where this season ends,
Then the Patriots kicked our behinds, our O-line stunk while Corey shined,
His dancing nearly made me puke but I figured it was just a fluke,
Then we got ripped off at Tampa Bay, Mike Carey took our win away,
When he called a BS penalty on Smith for sacking Gradkowski,
Then our D somehow made Michael Vick look like Elway, it made me sick,
Ocho Cinco was unveiled but the game did not turn out so well,

How many ways can you lose a game? How many times will you cause us pain?
When the defense fails, the Os in sync, when the D does well, the offense stinks,
When both of them show up to play, special teams give the game away,
Or the referees are the ones to blame, How many ways can you lose a game?

We hit the road to Baltimore for a must win game but we let them score,
14 points just minutes in, when you fumble kickoffs, you don't win,
We thought our season turned around when the Chargers visited Paul Brown,
But all that's left to do is laugh at 42 in the 2nd half,
Then Monday night in Peyton's place, the way we played was a disgrace,
Our stars should shoulder all the blame when they come up small in a big time game,
Then we ruined Christmas for the fans in Denver when we blew our chance,
And summed up a season full of crap when we couldn't execute a snap,

Thanks to several miracles and parity in the NFL,
We still had chances to get in but the Steelers knocked us out again,

So Marvin, count the ways we've lost the games and count the times you've caused us pain,
Eliminate them one by one so next year we can have some fun,
Watching Cincinnati win, us fans will all be back again,
To cheer the Bengals just the same, How many ways can you lose a game?
How many ways can you lose a game?
Please Marvin, find a way to win the games ...