December 27, 2011

Ortoning



Follow @ortoning on Twitter

PHOTO CREDITS: Tebowing.com and Ortoning.me

First there was planking, then there was Tebowing,
Added to the list of fads the Internet's been growing,
Inspired by Tebow's prayer, it's frequency increased,
But what about the player the Broncos released,

Ortoning is looking really sad,
Ortoning is when you realize that you are bad,
Ortoning is watching someone new,
Doing something better than you,

First there was Chicago, Kyle Orton didn't win,
Then there was his time spent Ortoning with Brady Quinn,
Inspired by uninspiring play and looking like a clown,
It's a fact that Ortoning is best done sitting down,

Ortoning is looking really sad,
Ortoning is when you realize that you are bad,
Ortoning is watching someone new,
Doing something better than you,

There have been a lot of players who have Ortoned over time,
Some blame it on an injury or their offensive line,
There have been a lot players who have faced a lot of strife,
But really you can Orton in any walk of life,

Ortoning is looking really sad,
Ortoning is when you realize that you are bad,
Ortoning is watching someone new,
Doing something better than you,
Ortoning is watching someone new,
Doing something better than you

December 14, 2011

Clipper History



Just in case he's never heard of L.A. Clipper basketball,
Here's a little song for Chris Paul,

Welcome to the NBA's version of Siberia,
If the Lakers are good health, then the Clippers are diphtheria,
The Lakers have the stars and the banners they're unfurling,
While the Clippers have Bill Simmons and Donald freaking Sterling,

The Clippers have the history like Danny Manning's knee,
And Danny Ferry threatening to play in Italy,
Consider it a mystery, no analyst can tell,
Why so many of the Clips end up with injured ACLs,
So keep these facts in mind cause they just might come in handy,
While you're walking in the shoes of Mike Olowokandi,
Chris Paul, you've been traded into such futility,
You're now a part of Clipper History,

So your only hope before your career begins to burn,
Is another shady ruling coming down from David Stern,
Maybe Billy Crystal can be your big presenter,
As you're going in the wrong side of the L.A. Staples Center,

The Clippers have the history like blown Achilles tendons,
You'll be trying to fix a franchise that's quite immune to mending,
You're the skipper going down on the helpless SS Minnow,
I expect to hear your name in a punch line by Jay Leno,
So keep these facts in mind cause they just might come in handy,
While you're walking in the shoes of Mike Olowokandi,
Chris Paul, you've been traded into such futility,
You're now a part of Clipper History,
You're now a part of Clipper History